On the Road Again (Original writing Sept. 10, 2011)
Life in your hands you walked away.
Fear and Faith your companions. Begging, pleading, reasoning left behind.
I close my eyes and you're still there. If I stop moving the aching returns. I want to run to you. Stop you. I know you are there somewhere. Deep in the depths of your soul, you are still there. I hear you, so I know it's true. Let me reach inside and yank you out! Release her!
Too late. I hear you still, from childhood. "I love you Chell. Don't you ever forget that".
All that is gone. Haven't heard truth in years now. Now it's just the torments of your mind. How dark it must be. How excruciating it must feel. Over and over. Endless. Echoes in your ear.
16 days after she became homeless, I, for some reason, made this note. Glad I did.
Two observations over a decade later: When i was a kid, "On the road again" was a song we'd sing every time we moved. Which was often. And it was the first thing that popped into my head 10 years ago when she became homeless. I've heard it said about fear and faith, if you fear, have faith. And if you have faith don't fear. With the mental illness my mom had they walked hand in hand. I'm glad she's not suffering anymore. But it makes me very sad to think how long she did.